I Thought I Stole Laurie Hernandez's Boyfriend

Story Time!

As a college student I decided my time would be best spent sharing my highs and lows on the internet rather than going to therapy like a normal human being. That being said I also spend a lot of my time searching for love in a societal culture that is not very relationship driven.

I had a friend text me the other day and ask if it was worth spending the $5 on tinder plus because her finger was getting tired. Between the plethora of dating apps and the prevalent hookup culture that drives todays teen and young adults, I was more than excited when a very attractive man walked into my old volleyball club for an open gym.

If it wasn’t already evident, I am incredibly awkward much like many of my peers. I was dreading going back to school after a semester long “situationship” with a whatever you want to call him. Now, it is important to note that I am bisexual. I only say this to emphasize that I not only get rejected, avoided and ghosted by men, but by women as well. Naturally due to my deeply rooted commitment issues, most of these failed relationships are my own doing but it is important to note.

Therefore, it goes to say that I’m criminally lonely and always searching for validation, but never love. Nonetheless, I walk into the gym per usual and I see all the regulars that I play with. I start warming up by myself because even though I know all of these people I am not confident enough to actually ask them to interact with me. So there I am in the middle of a gym, by myself, and then he walks in BOOM.

I see this ~man~.

Most attractive man I’ve seen in quite some time which is exciting because well, men are generally disappointing.

He was about 6’3. Gorgeous. Light skin freckle faced man. Amazing teeth. You don’t see that every day. Given that I sorta had a boyfriend at the time I decided to behave and not actively pursue this man, but boy did I want to. I resisted the urge. I’ll let him come to me.

So, we go the whole night, I play amazing. Did it have to do with the fact that he and I play the same position and I wanted to look good? Maybe. I’ll never tell. What I will say is my apple watch has yet to see my burn that many calories since. However! I remain humble because no one likes cockiness and what can I say, I’m a people pleaser.

We finish the night and I’m exhausted from my hours of spectacular play. As I’m taking my kneepads and shoes off ready to go home, I start talking to an old coach about me playing professionally. Then, the man approaches me. My plan worked, now he’s interested. I sit there, still act coy because like I said, no one likes cocky people.

He introduces himself. He has a nice name. It’s a professional name. Looks good on resumes. I shake his hand, you know, like a gentleman. Naturally I start planning a future with him in my head seeing if our names sound right together. They do. I’m thrilled.

The coach I was sitting with pipes up. He says, “She’s the kind of girl you want to play like.” I laugh off the generous comment and downplay myself, you know, to appease his inherent masculinity. “Oh no don’t flatter me. I am but a young lad from a division 2 program. I am far from great.”

Then freckles chimes in; “No, he’s right. You’re one of the best middles I’ve ever played against.” I smile and take the compliment. I’m good but not better than a man good. I let him believe his lies because he’s obviously flirting based off of this single compliment. He gets ready to leave and I notice he’s leaving with a girl I know. Perfect. A mutual friend. I drive home scream singing. I got Wendy’s on the way home, not important to the story but important to me because that lemonade was immaculate.

So, I get home, kiss my momma and poppa goodnight and I hop on Instagram, you know, like a stalker. I go to our mutual friend’s page and search his name. Only two results pop up, I’m smart enough to figure this one out. I find him.

Easy.

I click on his profile and I’m expecting to see pictures of him, naturally and her name under the little “followed by” section. I look and the first name I see is LAURIE HERNANDEZ, so I stop.

It should be noted here, that this is Laurie Hernandez ^ performing...at the OLYMPICS

Maybe I read it wrong. I may be an English major, but I also be illiterate sometimes. Words are tough like that. I read it again and click on it. Nope. It’s her. Laurie Hernandez the Olympic gold medal gymnast. As I stare at my phone in my hand, I’m thinking woah woah woah now pump the breaks. I know Laurie. I LOVE Laurie. Follow her on Instagram, great girl, friends with the Dolan twins. Quality human.

Am I about to STEAL Olympic gold medal gymnast Laurie Hernandez’s boyfriend? This is wild. I do my research, again, like a stalker.

Scroll down,.

scroll some more.

Scroll one last time. Boom... I find it.

There’s a picture of them together. He’s her prom date. What have I done?

My next move is to text all of my close friends and my sister for advice. On the one hand, its Laurie freaking Hernandez. On the other hand, girls get lonely sometimes. It’s me, I’ll admit it, I’m “girls”. All of my friends tell me not to fumble the bag, and to make sure I get this man to be with me.

So I go back to Instagram for a final stalk to figure this thing out. Turns out, they’re just childhood friends. Good for them. Even better for me because maybe now I have a chance. I dump my boyfriend and reach out to mutual friend. Am I leaving to go to school in the northeast while he stays in the south? Yes. Do I care? No. I hear back from mutual friend, maybe this will finally be it for me. I open the Instagram notification.

“He’s not single.”

And so, the search continues another day and maybe one day I will finally find that validation I’ve been searching for.